So are Neuticles really for dogs? Or are they for humans, a way for us to
atone for the castrating we put our pooches through? Most of his customers,
Miller says, are “freaking out over neutering their dog.” The possibility of
testicle implants soothes their psychic pain, and some animal welfare groups
have endorsed Neuticles because they may spur pet owners who are on the
fence about castration to go ahead and get their pets fixed.* (In fact, when
Miller heard that President Bill Clinton had expressed hesitation about
neutering Buddy, the First Dog, he did something that required both literal
and figurative cojones; he asked the leader of the free world to give some
thought to a prosthetic package.)
I never considered Neuticles when I got my dog, Milo, neutered, perhaps
because I’m a woman. According to a survey of nearly sixteen thousand
Australian dog owners, men are twice as likely as women to believe that
neutering fundamentally changes a dog’s “maleness.”

It occurs to me that
Neuticles might be a lot like truck nuts, those fake plastic testicles men
sometimes affix to the back of their vehicles—there to telegraph the virility
and manliness of the owner. Indeed, one male customer reported that his only
disappointment with Neuticles was that he and his wife hadn’t gotten their
dog a bigger size. According to one scholar of gender studies and humananimal
interactions, “many men continue to view their male pets as
personifications of their own egos and libidos.”


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